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[turbobike] Software Alert (humor)

Rick (gsxr1100@ptw.com)
Tue, 5 Jan 1999 19:56:28 -0800

Coudn't help it but it was to good to not pass it on to all you
Turbo Rick
350HP Turbo GSXR1100 Street bike And Performance Bikes
Links Page, Chat Room and coming soon the on line parts store
Web Site  http://www.ptw.com/~gsxr1100/
EL Mirage Land speed Record holder 204.626 MPH
E-mail gsxr1100@ptw.com

>Last year a friend of mine upgraded Girlfriend 6.0 to Wife 1.0 and found
>that it's a memory hog leaving very little system resources for other
>applications. He is now noticing that Wife 1.0 also is spawning
>Child-Processes which are further consuming valuable resources.
>No mention of this particular phenomena was included in the product
>brochure or the documentation, though other users have informed him that
>this is to be expected due to the nature of the application. Not only
>that, Wife 1.0 installs itself such that it is always launched at system
>initialization where it can monitor all other system activity. He's finding
>that some applications such as PokerNight 10.3, BeerBash 2.5, and PubNight
>7.0 are no longer able to run, crashing the system when selected
>(eventhough they always worked fine before). At installation, Wife 1.0
>automatically installs undesired Plug-Ins such as MotherInLaw 55.8 and
>BrotherInLaw Beta release. As a consequence, system performance seems to
>diminish with each passing day.
>Some features he'd like to see in the upcoming Wife 2.0:
>A "Don't remind me again" button
>A Minimize button
>An install shield feature that allows Wife 2.o to be installed with the
>option to uninstall at anytime without the loss of cache and other system
>An option to run the network driver in promiscuous mode which would allow
>the system hardware probe feature to have greater use.
>I, myself decided to avoid all of the headaches associated with Wife 1.0
>by sticking with Girlfriend 2.0. Even here, however, I found many problems.
>Apparently you cannot install Girlfriend 2.0 on top of Girlfriend 1.0. You
>must uninstall Girlfriend 1.0 first. Other users say this is a long
>standing bug which I should have been aware of.
>Apparently the versions of Girlfriend have conflicts over shared use of
>the I/O port. You think they would have fixed such a stupid bug by now. To
>make matters worse, the uninstall program for Girlfriend 1.0 doesn't work
>well leaving traces of the application in the system. Another annoying
>problem: all versions of Girlfriend continually popup annoying messages
>about the advantages of upgrading to Wife 1.0.
> ******* BUG WARNING ********
>Wife 1.0 has an undocumented bug. If you try to install Mistress 1.1before
>uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before executing
>a self-uninstallation. Then Mistress 1.1 will refuse to install, claiming
>insufficient system resources.
>******* BUG WORK-AROUNDS *********
>To avoid the above bug, try installing Mistress 1.1 on a different system
>and never run any file transfer applications such as Laplink 6.0. Also,
>beware of similar shareware applications that have been known to carry
>viruses that may affect Wife 1.0. Another solution would
>be to run Mistress 1.1 via a UseNet provider under an anonymous name. Here
>again, beware of the viruses which can accidentally be downloaded from the