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I couldn't help my self Subject: Noah - 1998 > >If Noah had built his ark today and the Lord spoke to Noah, He would say: > >"Aloha Noah, Dude, in six months I am going to make it rain until the whole world is covered with water and all the evil things are destroyed. But, I want to save a few good people and two of every living thing on the planet. I am ordering you to build an ark." And, in a flash of lightning, He delivered the specifications for the ark. > >"OK" Noah said, trembling with fear and fumbling with the blueprints, "I'm your man." "Six months and it starts to rain," thundered the Lord. "You better have my ark completed or learn to swim for a long, long time!" > >Six months passed, the sky began to cloud up, and the rain began to >falling torrents. The Lord looked down and saw Noah sitting in his yard, weeping, and there was no ark. "Noah!" shouted the Lord, "where is My ark?" > >A lightning bolt crashed into the ground right beside Noah. "Lord, please forgive me!" begged Noah. "I did my best, but there were some big problems. First I had to get a building permit for the ark's construction project, but your plans did not meet their code. So, I had to hire an engineer to redo the plans, only to get into a long argument with him about whether to include a fire-sprinkler system. "My neighbors objected, claiming that I was violating zoning by building the ark in my front yard, so I had to get a variance from the city planning board." >Then, I had a big problem getting enough wood for the ark, because there was a ban on cutting trees to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists and the US Fish and Wildlife Service that Ineeded the wood to save the owls, but they wouldn't let me catch them, so no owls. >"Next, I started gathering up the animals but got sued by an animal rights group that objected to me taking along only two of each kind." >Just when I got the suit dismissed, the EPA notified me that I couldn't complete the ark without filing an environmental impact statement on Your proposed flood. They didn't take kindly to the idea that they had no jurisdiction over the conduct of a supreme being." >Then, the Corps of Engineers wanted a map of the proposed flood plan. >I sent them a globe! >"Right now I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Equal Opportunities Commission over how many minorities I'm supposed to hire." >The IRS has seized all my assets claiming that I am trying to leave the country, and I just got a notice from the state that I owe some kind of use tax. Really, I don't think I can finish the ark in less than five years." > >With that, the sky cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow arched across the sky. Noah looked up and smiled. "You mean you are not going to destroy the world?," he asked hopefully. > >"No," said the Lord, "the government already has." >Turbo Rick 300HP Turbo GSXR1100 Street bike And Performance Bikes Links Page, Chat Room Web Site http://www.ptw.com/~gsxr1100/ Technical info http://www.ptw.com/~gsxr1100/specs.html Pictures http://www.ptw.com/~gsxr1100/pictures.html Land speed Racing http://members.xoom.com/gsxr1127/lsr.html Turbobike Mailing List send mail to turbobike-request@natvideo.com with SUBSCRIBE in the message body Online motorcycle book store http://members.xoom.com/gsxr1127/book1.htm EL Mirage Land speed Record holder 204.262 MPH E-mail gsxr1100@ptw.com